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Robert Bicknell
Source: Vietnam News
In preparation for the 2006 Ryder Cup to be played in Ireland, the US
PGA has announced that they will use a different selection system for the
Ryder Cup following the last debacle.
This new system will give more weight to players who are doing well in
the current Ryder Cup season and less emphasis on past glories. As only
five of the US players on the last team had won an event in 2004, it is
hardly surprising that they had their heads handed to them, especially
with a Team Captain who acted like a buffoon.
While these changes are a positive step in the right direction, I
believe the US PGA should also change other criteria as well…
Such as booting off the team any player stupid enough to make a major
equipment change right before the event, and they should also change the
way they select a Team Captain.
To wit, the captain must be respectable and able to inspire the
individual members of the team to put their egos in the locker and act
like a team. A Captain-candidate who utters idiotic phrases like "Oh,
yeah. I'm going to have to put that cowboy hat back on. This time I may
get the reins out too, and make them wet" is the mark of a village
idiot and should be automatically disqualified on general principles.
Looking like Fred Flintstone should be another reason for
disqualification.
Pairing Tiger Woods with David Duval, Phil Mickelson or any other
players with super-sized egos should be declared a "PMD" (Pairing of Mass
Destruction) and outlawed.
Also, last year’s team uniforms were ugly as hell. If I saw myself
wearing an outfit like that, I’d have to kick my own ass.
In reality, what the US Ryder Cup team really needs to do more than
anything else is take a page from the European Team’s playbook…
And act like a team.
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later…
A company called NanoDynamics claims to have designed a self-correcting
ball which is touted as being able to correct the tendency for a mis-hit
ball to "wobble" in flight and can minimise or even eliminate your hook or
slice. Through the use of nano-technology they claim to be able to
manufacture a ball which allows a more efficient transfer of energy
between club head and the ball.
They also claim the ball can be designed in a way that it behaves like
a wide-track tire when putting; breaking less on inclines and less prone
to be nudged "off-line" by imperfections in the surface of the green.
Ok, what’s next…GPS loaded golf balls which automatically target the
hole? How about shotgun-shell loaded drivers for 500-yard drives?
Look, people should derive enjoyment and satisfaction from golf through
self-improvement. I get irritated with companies who ignore the basic
principle of the game – which is to improve yourself through knowledge and
practice and offer shortcuts. Players should not be able to "buy" a better
golf game.
Hopefully the R&A and the USGA will continue to keep equipment
manufacturers from going amok.
The game of golf shouldn’t suffer because someone puts profits before
principle.
I had to laugh when I read that a man in upstate New York has been
accused of stealing a golf course, piece-by-piece.
The guy was accused of stealing golf balls, tee markers, ball washers
and numerous other items from the Owasco Country Club over a three-year
period in order to appoint a three-hole course he and his twin brother
built on their own property.
Being able to see the humour in just about anything, it stuck me that
it’s a good thing the brothers didn’t build a 36-hole facility, or a lot
more stuff would’ve vanished as well…including parts of the clubhouse.
"Hmm, we sure could use them lockers…"
What makes this particular story ironic is that the accused thief’s
name is Donald Ross…which just also happens to be the name of a very
famous, deceased, golf course designer.
Now, if the accused thief’s name was "Pete Dye" he would’ve most likely
left a trail that would’ve made Bonnie & Clyde envious…
Railroad ties would have suddenly disappeared nation-wide.
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